Defining Moments
by Libertyne
Summary: Your life is defined by many moments, even the small ones. Here are some that make Mercedes Jones who she is.


**Title:** Defining Moments (Or moments in life that shape you)

**Rated:** PG-13

**Disclaimer:** Don't own so please don't sue.

**Summary:** Your life is defined by many moments, even the small ones. Here are some that make Mercedes Jones who she is.

Mercedes centric but also features Sam/Mercedes

**Author Note:** It was supposed to be a simple one shot, but turned into a 6600 word story. I didn't want to do multi-chapter so here is the longest one shot ever. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>She's four years old when she realizes that music is different for her. It touches her in a way that nothing else does. Her ears perk up when a song comes on the radio, completely focusing on the song. The voice carries through the speakers and it soothes her. She bites her lip, concentrating on the song as a whole; the singing, the instruments, the melody of it all.<p>

She spends her time watching MTV in awe as the bright music videos lure her in. She mimics the dance moves, attempting to sway and gesture the way Mariah does. Her voice grows stronger as she belts out the notes just like Whitney. It's then that Mercedes Jones knows that this is what she wants. She wants the cameras, the adoration, and the spotlight. She wants it all.

She's nine years old when people finally start paying attention to her. Her parents are supportive; they smile and encourage her when she puts on a show for them in their living room as she uses her hairbrush for a microphone. She practices every day, working hard to perfect the notes and pitches and then practices some more. She's timid at first, singing the songs in a softer note until the emotion takes over and she's belting the notes out with feeling. She sees her father's smile waver for a second before it becomes a full on beam. Her mother's eyes that were once shining with love and playfulness turn softer before becoming wide with tears and adoration. She finishes the song, her chest pulling in deep breaths and her cheeks slightly burning. There's a slight silence for a half of second before her mother shakes her head in what looks like amazement. Her father sucks in a breath and exhales as he looks from Mercedes to her mother.

"Well -"

"I don't even -"

"That was -"

"_Amazing_ -"

"Fantastic, I mean -"

She looks back and forth at her parents as they struggle with their words and she can't help the sheepish grin that's tugging on her lips.

* * *

><p>When she's eleven she wonders if she's different from other kids. While Mercedes certainly wasn't shy, she's never been as rambunctious as her classmates. She sits by herself with quietness. <em>She's such a polite girl<em> - her teacher had told her parents on several occasions - _she's just a little quiet_. Mercedes knows this is true although she doesn't know why. She has friends, though she knows they're more like acquaintances than friends, and she smiles at all the right times, answers questions with an acute promptness. Her parents push for her to focus on making more friends, do more things, and focus on other activities instead of just singing. Something to boost her confidence. She doesn't understand. She likes what she does, is okay with having more acquaintances than friends and knows that she has enough confidence. She tells them she would try though so she smiles more at school, extends her sentences a bit but in the end, she's okay with who she is.

* * *

><p>It's when she enters Junior High that she realizes that she <em>is<em> different from other kids. The ones she's known since elementary school don't look at her anymore; it's as if they have no idea who she is. All have changed from the classmates she knew, some for the worst. They laugh and snicker behind their hands, some throwing sneers her way and Mercedes doesn't understand why.

She enters the gym for P.E. when she sees everyone standing around, talking about the storm that was going on. Some kids seemed excited, considering the bad weather meant that everyone got to stay inside today and play basketball instead of running the mile. Nicole Johnson walks up to her, and says, "Mercedes, right?"

"Yeah," Mercedes says with a small smile. "Hi."

"So looks like gym might be cancelled today." Nicole notes with a small smile. "It's going to be so boring. A lot of us were actually looking forward to running the mile."

Mercedes feels her eyebrows draw down in confusion before pushing them back up, "Oh -"

"So, " Nicole continues as if Mercedes hadn't said anything, "We were wondering if you could just stand there and we could run around you for ten minutes. That would do it don't you think?"

She's laughing by the end of her sentence and so are the others as her comments echo through the gym and Mercedes feels her chest tighten and her throat closes up. A million words rush through her brain, but her mouth refuses to move. She feels her eyes water at the harshness of the words, though she blinks through the sting. So she squares her shoulders and pastes on a bright smile though it falters a bit.

"No -" Her voice wavers so Mercedes clears her throat and tries again, "No, that's okay." and with that she walks away and out of the gym.

She spends the rest of the hour for gym locked in a bathroom stall, forcing herself to fight the tears that are threatening to spill; she hears girls coming in and out of the bathroom, laughing and joking, unaware that behind one of those stalls, there was a girl on the border of breaking.

* * *

><p>She flies under the radar for a few years, focusing on school and music when the opportunity to join Glee club arises. Mercedes feels doubtful at first, but ultimately goes for an audition. She musters up her inner diva and her confidence comes forward full force. She knows if she builds herself up, no one will be able to tear her down. She likes Glee club, likes the atmosphere. She clashes with one Rachel Berry on several occasions, but that doesn't deter her. While Rachel's the dramatic sort (that brings a lot of drama), Mercedes knows that her role in Glee is just as pivotal. Each time she performs a song, her confidence boosts, and by the end of the year Mercedes is grateful for not only having a talent, but finding a place where she's able to shine.<p>

* * *

><p>Though Rachel Berry was just as much as an outcast as Mercedes, Mercedes knows that Rachel is destined to be something, if only because Rachel seeks out opportunities and isn't afraid to go after what she wants.<p>

Mercedes knows her boundaries in life. She knows that if McKinley High were a movie, her role would be the sassy black friend who brings the reality check and sometimes the humor. She wasn't born to be the leading lady, and although she's accepted this a long time ago, it still hurts to know it.

She thinks about a movie of her life. Her leading man. Her happy ending. If she were able to plot it out to a t she knows that she would choose a prestigious university, somewhere where no one knows her. Somewhere where she can get a fresh start. A bigger town. Maybe even a big city. She dreams about joining drama, maybe even getting a degree in theatre arts or something. It wouldn't be impossible to be a leading lady then. Not in a big city. She has the voice, the talent and maybe then people could overlook her weight.

She dreams of this and dreams of it often. Sometimes she envisions a boyfriend tagging along for the ride, but most of the time it brings her down. She's not set to go to college for 2 more years and she's certainly not getting a boyfriend anytime soon. Growing up in a small town like Lima, she knows her options are limited. Aside from being one of the few black students in the school, Mercedes is aware that everything about her is considered a little too big; her personality, her confidence and most importantly, her waist, hips, boobs and ass. So she hangs back and just observes the relationships that happen around her. Tina and Artie. Rachel and Finn. Quinn and Sam. Tina and Mike. It's interesting to watch how they all came together and how some unravel. Sometimes, she thinks as she witnesses the heartbreak that goes on inside the choir room, she's okay blending into the background. Sometimes she's okay with being single.

* * *

><p>Bright lights. Blaring music. Being around her friends. Dancing until her feet hurt.<p>

Those are the things make her happy.

A squeeze of a hand. First slow dance with a sweet boy. An escort to her door. A kiss on her cheek. Brown eyes meet bright green ones with a flickering feeling of something more. A hope.

Those are the things that make it _memorable_.

* * *

><p>Though they lose Regionals in New York over an incident that's never be spoken of again, Mercedes still has fun. She's roamed one of the biggest cities with her closest friends. She's able to envision life as a star, even if it was for only a couple of hours. She's also found herself sneaking out of her room a lot, to hang out with another new friend. They grow close, as close as two friends can get, and then they grow even closer.<p>

Sam's grinning widely as he tugs her hand and pulls her faster through the door. She's trying to keep up with him but his legs are so long and hers are… not. She's pretty sure she gasps out loud when she recognizes that they're on the roof of the hotel, thirty stories up and they can see everything. Sam tugs her closer to a railing and they stand together in complete wonder at what lays before them. Neither of them needs to speak, so they look out into the city in awed silence. Mercedes smile gets even bigger but she's not sure if it's from the scenery in front of her or if it's from the boy next to her, still holding her hand.

Sam dares to speak first, "Beautiful isn't it?"

"Yeah," Mercedes murmurs, finally tearing her eyes away from the lights to look at Sam. He's staring at her, his eyes a bit softer and his thumb drawing soft circles on the skin of her hand. Her breath hitches and she shakes off the nerves that are causing butterflies in her belly.

They stand there and stand there some more and when it's time to go back to their rooms, Sam's still got a hold on her hand, though his grip is a bit tighter.

They may have lost Regionals, but Mercedes can't help to feel that she's gained something else.

* * *

><p>Her first kiss is awkward and heart pounding and yet it's everything she's dreamed of. Sam's soft lips are tentative against her own surprised ones. Her breath hitches as his hand cups her neck, pulling her closer and his own lips capture her bottom one and he nibbles a bit. Panic flashes through her mind and she wonders what he's thinking. He had to know that she's never been kissed and he's just <em>so good<em> and she feels like she just so, so _bad_ at this.

He's moving slowly but surely, almost as if he's gauging her reaction to the different techniques that he's using. His lips are so sure and gentle against her own and his fingers are caressing the nape of her neck, making her shiver and giving her goose bumps. He coaxes her mouth open and slips his tongue inside. Though she's unsure of what to do next, she resolves herself to not melt into a puddle and attempts to match him in this kissing game, tongues dancing lightly against each other; tasting. testing.

They do this for lord knows how long and she feels his lips lift against her own and she knows he's smiling. Instinctively her own lips do the same and soon they're both grinning stupidly. He's slowed down the kisses to small pecks and she feels the giddiness of it all ready to burst through her lips. She finally dissolves into a fit of giggles, shoulders full on shaking and Sam looks at her with a mocking hurt look on his face, though the grin his lips are fighting say differently.

"That bad, huh?" He teases, still trying to act affronted.

She feels bad for laughing, but she can't help it and looking at his face isn't helping. She takes deep breaths to try to control the fits of laughter and ends up snorting unattractively instead.

"You're doing wonders for my confidence, Mercedes."

"I'm sorry," she replies, huffing out another laugh "You're just too cute."

She doesn't want to tell him that she's just so happy at the moment and that's why she damn near fell over in hysterics. It would probably confuse him and above all, scare the living shit out of him (she's far from picking out wedding dresses and their theme music.) So she settles on teasing him for a bit before turning serious.

"That was... nice." She says, choosing her words slowly.

"Nice?" He responds, eyebrows lifting.

"Great," She amends. "It was great. Thank you."

"Thank you?" He echoes. "Way to make me feel like a gigolo or something."

She slaps her hand over her mouth and bites her lip. She can feel the heat spread through her cheeks and knows she looks mortified.

"Hey," Sam grins - his nose scrunching a bit, "I'm just kidding."

Oh, of course he was.

His hand's still resting on her neck, his fingers still dancing across her skin and she finds herself leaning into him.

"This is nice." She says aloud, to no one in particular.

"Yeah," Sam agrees quietly. "It is."

They sit in silence for a while, occasionally exchanging small kisses, but their thoughts are their own. She doesn't know how they got to this place exactly; this place where two friends who enjoy each other's company end up reaching out for something more, but she knows that she's happy here.

* * *

><p>They spend a majority of their summer vacation together. They spend a lot of time at the lake and carnival and Mercedes loves how therapeutic it all feels. They find themselves acting like goofy teenagers; any worries about what's going on in their lives completely dissolve.<p>

They're open with their relationship, not caring who knows. They don't think about the future and what it is they have, just that they have it now.

Mercedes clutches his hand when they approach the line for the tilt-a-whirl. She's never been the one for the thrill seeking rides; even the thought of going on a Ferris wheel makes her stomach drop.

She shudders as she watches the cars spinning around and the screams coming from them.

"You okay?" Sam asks eyes full of concern.

She manages a shaky smile and tries to nod, "Yeah, I'm - I'm nervous." She admits.

He wraps his arm around her shoulder and pulls her close, "We don't have to -"

"No," She interrupts and straightens her shoulders. "I want to. Just, uh, just don't let me die or something."

Sam chuckles at that and presses his lips against her temple. "We'll be fine. I'll make sure the evil contraption called the tilt-a-whirl will not, in fact, kill either of us."

It's their turn to go now and Sam grabs her hand, pulling her through the gate. "Whichever of your choosing, my lady." He says in an exaggerated accent, gesturing widely at the different color cars.

Mercedes suppresses a grin and leads them to a dark blue one, partially because she knows Sam loves the color blue and it's actually become one of her favorites, too.

They settle in the seats and Mercedes holds her breath when the worker comes to push the bar over their laps. Sam grabs her hand, squeezing it while giving her a reassuring smile. His arm wraps around her shoulder and he tugs as close as he can, his embrace tight. Mercedes leans against him, the side of her face buried in his blue hoodie, the smell of him completely relaxing her.

The ride attendant reads off the rules of the ride over a garbled speaker and the machines start up.

It starts off at a slow pace, but Mercedes can feel the ride speeding up. One hand clutches the bar in front of her while her other grips Sam's thigh.

"Hey," He says with a reassuring squeeze to her shoulder, "It's okay."

She nods; ignoring the flip flopping her stomach is beginning to do and swallows back the scream threatening to erupt.

They start spinning and she squeezes her eyes shut, but she can hear Sam's laugh from right beside her. She looks at him, her eyes full of terror and he grins a response.

"It's okay to make noise." He tells her. "Sometimes it's nice to just let it out."

She squeaks as the ride jerks clumsily in a circle and she looks over to see her whole world in a blur.

People are screaming and Sam's grinning like a loon so Mercedes decides to throw herself into the moment and her shrieks get louder. Somehow Sam manages to pull her even closer and she turns to face him, her smile just as wide as his.

Her lips find his, her hand grips his leg even tighter, his hand rubs soothing circles on her shoulders and she completely melts into him.

Their kisses are clumsy because the ride keeps jerking but beyond that, the world disappears. In that moment of exhilaration, they are just a boy and a girl and nothing else matters.

* * *

><p>They lie together on the grass and stare at the sky. The silence surrounding them is deafening but it's not uncomfortable. The sun is finally setting and Mercedes is watching the orange tint of the sky, trying to decipher all colors from each other. Sam's right next to her, his hands folded behind his head, though he looks as though he's somewhere else entirely. His brows are drawn down and his teeth are tugging at his bottom lip. Mercedes knows he's lost in thought, so she stays quiet and focuses on other things.<p>

"I don't know what to do anymore," Sam confesses aloud and Mercedes remains still, deciding not to say anything just yet in case he wants to keep talking.

His brow furrows again and she knows he's running the words through his mind before allowing them to come out of his mouth. "I mean, is there anything I _can_ do?" It's a rhetorical question so she stays quiet a moment longer. "Dad's got an interview for a job. Out of state."

She sucks in a breath and her eyes becoming unseeing. The oranges, the reds and the pinks in the sky blur together for a moment until she shakes it away and it all goes back to normal.

He looks over at her, his eyes flickering over her face, trying to gauge a reaction out of her. Mercedes schools her features; trying to hide the devastation she feels but her brown eyes are still soft with affection.

"Your parents have to do what's best." She says slowly. "Maybe it'd be for the best if they branched out for opportunities."

She knows as soon as the words are out that they're not what he wants to hear, but Mercedes has stopped living in fantasy a long time ago. This wasn't a movie, nothing's perfect and shit happens. She and Sam are both a testament to all of that.

He swallows whatever words are on his tongue and the silence envelopes them again.

Awhile later, Sam will reach out and grip her hand, whatever thoughts he has will remain trapped in his mind. Mercedes focuses on the things around them; the sounds of crickets, the breeze and the sway of the grass… everything to push away the reality of their situation.

He's kissing her again, though this time it feels a little different. His kisses are more urgent, his fingers tender against her skin. She matches him, stroke for stroke this time, not wanting to let go. She squeezes her eyes closed focusing on everything Sam Evans (Hair. Skin. Taste. Smell. Touch.) and pushes away the odd ache in her heart.

For the first time in a long time, Mercedes allows herself to immerse in a fantasy where everything is okay and nothing hurts.

* * *

><p>It's two weeks before the end of Summer when he tells her. She tries to be positive and smile <em>("He got the job? That's so great! It'll mean so much for you and your family<em>) but she can feel it falter from her lips.

It's awkward and weird and if she's being honest with herself, painful. She puts on her brave face, especially when they both agree that a long distance thing probably won't work, but they'll remain friends. He pulls her into a hug and she smiles into his chest as he towers over her; she feels herself relax into him.

She wishes she can swallow the lump in her throat; it's painful and hard to breathe.

It's when he kisses the top of her head and says, "I'll miss you so much, 'Cedes." that she feels the tears prickling her eyes.

Still she cannot bring herself to regret a single moment – a single feeling – that she's had with Sam Evans.

* * *

><p>She returns to school and is bombarded with questions from the glee club about Sam. Her brain hurts, her heart aches, so she gives short answers hoping that it satisfies their curiosity.<p>

Kurt can tell something's different with her, but chooses not to say anything. He opts to crash at her place on the weekends, where they indulge in Ben and Jerry's Double Fudge Brownie ice cream and marathons of Sex and the City. They talk about any and everything that doesn't involve the summer.

She's grateful for her friend and everything he does. The ache in her heart dulls, but doesn't disappear.

* * *

><p>Shane Tinsley smiles at her in Chemistry. Her stomach does a flip flop and she finds herself smiling back.<p>

* * *

><p>Things are getting tough in Glee club, and Mercedes doesn't know what to do. She walks out of the auditorium after quitting Glee and she realizes that she feels alone now more than ever.<p>

* * *

><p>Shane's words pull her back into the conversation. She's zoned off, thinking about life and where she's going. He clutches her hand from across the table and she smiles a small smile for him. He's a good guy, she thinks. He's stuck by me through all of it. Her feelings for him are growing, but she can't bring herself to define them just yet. She can't talk to him about everything, especially things he just doesn't understand. That's okay. He's still there for her in other ways. She resolves herself to treat this relationship right and to make it work no matter what.<p>

Deep down, she knows there's a possibility that she's simply settling.

* * *

><p>Though it's not medically possible, Mercedes swears that her heart has stopped beating. It stumbles and falters before starting back up again. She meets Santana's taunting gaze for a second too long before chickening out and staring unseeingly at the music sheet in her hands.<p>

The Latina had been fifteen minutes late to the Trouble Tone rehearsal and had no qualms about explaining why. Someone came back, she said airily. Mercedes knew from the look in Santana's eye that the news was meant for her more than anyone.

"An _old_ friend," Santana offered with a quirk of her eyebrow and Mercedes just knew.

"Yes," Santana said coolly, "Trouty Mouth is back, though this time without the Beiber hair. Apparently the Pillsbury Doughboy and his insufferable shrew of a girlfriend went to Kansas to get him."

"Kentucky," Mercedes murmured quietly.

"Whatever." Santana retorted with a wave of her hand. "I went to the Choir room and he was there with them, singing kumbaya or something."

The discussion ends and they resume with rehearsal, but Mercedes can't bring herself to focus on any melody but the odd pitter patter of her heart.

* * *

><p>She spots him in the hallway later on her way to Chemistry. Her feet stumble over each other so she pulls herself against a locker and hugs her books to her chest. He looks like he's in a heavy discussion with Mike when suddenly he looks over and sees her. Mercedes sucks in a breath and hugs her books closer to her chest, and wishes she could blend in with the lockers. She tries to force herself to look away, but can't. Sam stares back, a crooked smile graces her lips and Mercedes has to fight hard to not smile back. He murmurs something to Mike, pats him on the shoulder and walks towards her. She pulls herself up straighter, summoning her spine ramrod straight. A course of emotions are running through her; her heart is thumping loudly, blood roaring through her ears and her mouth is dry. The familiar feeling of butterflies return to her stomach and the dull ache in her heart is starting to throb again.<p>

He's still smiling when he approaches and Mercedes can't help but to give him a smile back.

God she missed him.

"Hello," Sam says with a duck of his head.

"Sam," She tries to say coolly, but it just comes out loud and stilted instead, "Hey! How are you?"

"Good." His smile grows even bigger and he pulls her into a hug. Mercedes resists any urge to wrap her arms around him and allow herself to remember the feel of him.

She pulls away after a moment, but Sam's hand is still lingering on the small of her back.

"Are you back for good?"

"Just finishing up senior year," Sam says, his hand still resting on the same spot. Mercedes forces herself to ignore it.

She pushes away the feeling of disappointment and reminds herself that she has a boyfriend. Still, a part of her is happy that Sam's back. He turned out to be one of her best friends and she missed him more than she realized.

"Well good. Glad you're back. Everyone missed you." Her books shift in her arms again, so she nods to the hall. "I have to –"

"You wanna hang out after 4th period to catch up?" Sam asks suddenly.

Mercedes blinks, the words completely going over her head. She thinks of Sam and Shane and then of Sam some more.

"I—I don't know," She falters.

"Oh, come on." Sam says and Mercedes thinks she sees a quietness set in his eyes; a quiet determination.

"We'll see," Mercedes says to appease him without making any promises. "Look I have to go. It was good seeing you. I'll see you around."

She ducks away from him before he can protest anymore and she scurries down the hall as fast as her little legs can take her.

She mentally berates herself for being so short with him. He didn't deserve that treatment. So Mercedes plans on apologizing to Sam later for her rudeness. After all, he

was only being friendly and boyfriend or not, there was no harm in remaining friends with Sam.

* * *

><p>Or not.<p>

Sam makes his intentions clear before the end of the day. Mercedes almost screams when she feels a large hand grab hers. She almost has a heart attack when she realizes its Sam.

She's pretty sure that the heart attack is bound to happen with all the skipping and stopping it's been doing lately.

He's so casual, as if returning out of the blue and resuming a relationship is just a normal thing to do. So Mercedes gathers everything she's got and prepares herself to set him straight.

She tries, she really does. She tries using the words that she's used for herself every time she began to miss him after he left.

Summer Fling.

It was a way for her to have a reality check; to stifle the pain that began to surface again, and after the hundredth time of saying it to herself, she finally began to believe it.

She's not surprised at Sam's ability to reprogram her thoughts after being back for less than a day. His insistence that it was more than a fling makes Mercedes feel justified in having those feelings in the first place.

She sticks her ground, though and is pretty sure she's got the last words until she hears his voice carry through the hallway.

She smiles a bit because it's Sam, and yeah, she really missed him.

The challenge in his words is pretty clear and Mercedes doesn't know if she has it in her to fight it, but she's going to try.

Game. Set. Match.

* * *

><p>She misses the days when life wasn't so complicated and you could make it through a week without hurting someone. Or two.<p>

She's never imagined herself to be in this situation, so she's not surprised that she's really, _really_ bad at handling the whole thing.

She knows that it's impossible to come out of something like this unscathed, but she didn't expect it to hurt so fucking much.

Mercedes doesn't know who she is anymore. She doesn't even feel like a complete person anymore. She can barely talk because everything stumbles out of her mouth are either halfhearted regrets or endless apologies.

Shane ignores her completely and Sam doesn't look at her the same anymore. Mercedes wishes more than anything that she can learn from mistakes without ever actually having to deal with the consequences.

* * *

><p>Everything hurts. Her eyes burn and her throat feels tight; her calm demeanor is ready to break. She feels like she's been here for days, but it's only been a couple of hours at the most.<p>

The tension in the room is thick and no one will look at each other. Mercedes wants to go get some air, do something to clear her thoughts but her legs refuse to work.

She hears distorted voices coming out of the speakers overhead and none of it makes sense. The words garble together as if in a different language entirely. She chances a look around the room and sees everyone is exactly where they've been since they all arrived. Finn and Rachel are huddled together in a corner; Rachel's eyes are swollen and red. Finn looks confused, as if he still doesn't understand what's going on.

The rest are scattered all around the waiting room; Brittany and Santana are being unusually quiet, Kurt is slumped in his chair, his mind and gaze off somewhere else, while Blaine fidgets next to him. Mike's consoling Tina and Puck sits nearby, tapping his foot impatiently against the hard carpet while Artie is rifling through magazines not really seeing anything.

Mercedes watches as Mr. Shue paces across the room; she's been counting his steps without realizing. She tears her gaze from that distraction and finds herself looking at Sam.

He's slumped in his chair, arms crossed over his torso and he just looks so deflated. He meets her gaze and she sees his jaw clench as he tries to offer her a small smile, but it comes out as a grimace instead.

The room is super quiet with the exception of the occasional sniffle and Puck's foot tapping and Mercedes head hurts so fucking much. She stands up out of her chair, runs her hands over now wrinkled bridesmaid dress out of sheer need to do _something_ and clears her throat.

"I'm going to get a coffee. Anyone want anything?" She asks quietly.

She's not offended whatsoever at the lack of response from the others. She nods to herself and heads to the main corridor, counting her steps to make sure she's aware of something.

She hears footsteps trail behind her and is not so surprised to see it's Sam.

Mercedes wants to say something, anything to ease the mood but nothing comes to mind so she doesn't. She and Sam walk together in complete silence to the cafeteria.

She wishes that it were better circumstances to be with Sam like this, but the mood is somber and things are rough. She'll still take it, though.

When they get their coffees, Sam motions for her to sit with him at an empty table and she does. She glances at the clock, not wanting to take too long in case there's news about Quinn. Mercedes circles her hands around her cup, embracing the warmth seeping into her skin, taking away the numbness.

"You think she'll be okay?" Sam's staring at his coffee but Mercedes knows that the question is directed at her.

She swallows slowly, not sure how to answer that. Of course her natural instinct is to tell him that Quinn will be fine; in fact, everything will be back to normal by Monday. It's what she's told herself for the past four hours. But she's a realist and lately she's been priding herself on being 100 percent honest so she says, "I don't know. I hope so."

Sam flinches at her words and she almost apologizes for the truthfulness. Mercedes knows that she has the most faith out of anyone in the club, but in moments like this, anyone's faith can be shaken so easily. She resolves herself to think about positive things and how they had no word yet, but she can't stop thinking about Quinn and how everything was so unfair.

She wonders how Sam's feeling and she wants to ask but decides against it. She knows that there are times when Sam likes to sort things out on his own, and if she's being honest with herself, even if he did want to share, she wonders if she even has a right to his thoughts anymore.

"I'm sorry," she says, not sure what she's apologizing for exactly, though she knows she has a lot of things to be sorry about.

He looks at her, his eyes intense despite their tiredness and gives her a small nod. "S'okay," he mumbles.

Though she has so much more to say, she knows that now's not the time to rehash their problems or whatever's left unresolved between them, so she doesn't say anything else. She reaches out and touches his hand for a moment before pulling her hand back and around the cup again.

He doesn't react to her touch, but he doesn't pull away either and Mercedes takes small comfort in knowing that regardless of what happens with them, she still has this with Sam; she still has his friendship and it's something that she's missed like crazy.

Mercedes knows that her problems are so inconsequential compared to everything happening now. Though it seems selfish at the moment, she closes her eyes and thinks of her life and what she's done, big and small and how it's helped shape her to be who she is and how she's destined to do so much more, just like Quinn; they all are.

She sees flashes of importance from her life: her singing, the taunting and teasing, the kisses, the laughter, the joy, the sadness, the friendships, the anger, the tears, the selflessness, the love, and the heartbreak. She knows that these are the moments that built her up to be who she is, and there will be so much more; everything she is are in those small defining moments.

Her head clears and she feels calmness settle within her; it's small but it's there. She says a couple of more prayers, one for Quinn, one for everyone else and then five more for Quinn.

They get up to go throw their cups in the garbage when Mike comes running in, out of breath with a flushed face.

"She's awake." He huffs.

The tears are instant for Mercedes and she just starts to bawl at those two little words that hold such a heavy weight. She feels someone wraps their arms around her and pulls her in for a hug and she just knows its Sam. She's full out sobbing now against his chest and she thinks Sam might be crying too. She knows they probably look ridiculous right now, standing in the middle of a hospital cafeteria just hugging each other over a small piece of news, but she doesn't care. She doesn't care that she's snotty and ugly crying into her ex-boyfriend's chest on his super expensive dress shirt (_Sorry Finn and Rachel_.)

She's just so super ridiculously happy at the moment that she's half tempted on singing and tap dancing across the whole damn cafeteria and she doesn't care who sees.

* * *

><p>Quinn's going to be okay.<p>

They don't know the details of her injuries just yet, but they know that she's awake and responding to questions, so there's no lasting damages that they can see; mentally at least.

The tension in the room lifts considerably and Mercedes swears that everyone begins to breathe again. Her eyes are still heavy from the tears and the stress, but her heart hurts less. Everyone's getting ready to head out since no one can see Quinn tonight, aside from family. So she grabs her purse and her coat, relief coursing through her that at least this was okay for now.

She looks around the almost empty waiting room and spots Sam in the corner, tugging his jacket on. Biting her lip, she squares her shoulders and approaches him.

"Hey," She says quietly.

Sam turns quickly, almost as though she scared him and offers her a small smile. "Hey." He says back. "You heading out, too?"

"Yeah," she murmurs and suddenly she feels awkward, "Do you need a ride?"

"Oh, uh, no. Burt's here so I was going to catch a ride with him and Kurt. Thanks, though." Sam says.

She feels her confidence waiver so she just starts to talk, "We should get coffee. Together. Later. Sometime. Soon." The words are out of her mouth and she wants the blush so badly at how jumbled it all came out. "To, you know, talk." She adds on lamely.

_About how I'm so sorry and how much I miss you and, yeah, I kinda really do love you, like, a lot… _she thinks and is happy that those words didn't tumble out of her mouth, too.

Sam's green eyes widen a bit but he's quick to hide his surprise. "Uh, yeah." He says quickly. "I'd like that." And suddenly the weariness is gone and she can something akin to hope lights his face.

"Okay, cool." Mercedes says, "Call me and we can set something up."

"Yeah," Sam nods. Suddenly he leans down and gives her a kiss; just a brief one. It's closer to the corner of her mouth than her lips but her stomach turns to knots. Mercedes is sure her face is on fire right now, but if Sam notices he doesn't say anything.

"I'll call you tonight." He says as he swings his jacket over his shoulder and gives her a real smile. The first one in so many weeks.

She watches him walk out of the waiting room before releasing the breath she was holding. Mercedes shakes her head and closes her eyes, biting on her lip to stop a stupid smile from spreading.

Tomorrow she'd be back here for Quinn, to make sure she gave her friend whatever she needed. Tonight, though… tonight she was going to get her life on track, and while nothing was guaranteed, it was a start.


End file.
